Just the notion of death has a weird horrible fascination for me. Complete and utter annihilation. No matter what you’ve accomplished in life, your achievements or good memories or desires — they literally cease to exist. Like, it wouldn’t matter if you single-handedly started WWIII and destroyed the human race, once you’re dead regrets don’t exist, the fate of humanity doesn’t matter, you can’t think of or remember anything because you have been utterly annihilated for all time. It’s all the same to you whether the world has blown up or prospers, it is literally the same thing once you’re wiped from existence.
And it seems more and more like everything we do in life is just a desperate attempt to forget this fact.
When you die it’s the same as if everybody else did too.The Road, Cormac McCarthy
Hell, Henri Barbusse
I shall die one day. Have I ever thought about it? I try to remember. No, I have never thought about it, I can’t. One can no more look destiny in the face than one can look straight at the sun, and yet destiny is grey.
And dusk falls as every dusk will fall, until the one which will be too dark.
Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that. Yes, yes, it’s the most comical thing in the world.Samuel Beckett
I am struggling with apathy and purpose with regard to my life and future. I am growing older now. So perhaps this is normal. It is, isn’t it?
The hair goes gray.
The body fattens.
Skin is loosed from once-taut muscles.
We lose control of our bodies and then we are burned or put into boxes and everyone forgets what our voices sounded like or thinks of us once in awhile on a holiday.
The brevity and pointlessness of it all is interesting.
Have a drink of something interesting, share your body with someone, see an ocean because that’s all there is, it would seem.
When we’re all gone at last then there’ll be nobody here but death and his days will be numbered too. He’ll be out in the road there with nothing to do and nobody to do it to. He’ll say: where did everybody go?
I found myself thinking about President William McKinley, the third American president to be assassinated. He lived for several days after he was shot, and towards the end, his wife started crying and screaming, “I want to go too! I want to go too!” And with his last measure of strength, McKinley turned to her and spoke his last words: “We are all going.”